This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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