Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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