I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
