Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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