I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
