she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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