he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
