His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize