We won't sleep together?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize