im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
