Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
