Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Floor bacon is actually really good
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize