i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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