You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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