was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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