you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize