Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
