Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
