i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
then he tried to convert me to islam
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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