Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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