i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize