Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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