I'm gonna have a badass scar
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
