I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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