I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
