The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
