I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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