I just made out with a guy for $7.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
