on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
