can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
