Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
