ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
