I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
then he tried to convert me to islam
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
