I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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