Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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