Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
