Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
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