You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize