So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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