I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
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