Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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