She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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