OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
