i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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