IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
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