fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize