Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize