Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
