One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
