I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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