I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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