swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
