If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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