That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
