seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
