i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
