So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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