How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
