I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
