is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
