i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
