Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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