so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
