I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
they need to just BURY HIM!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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